Wow! Where did the last 5 years go? Today was Brooke's first day of kindergarten. It's certainly hard to believe that my baby girl is old enough to start kindergarten, but she is. She was super excited, but I could tell she was a little nervous too. My confident girl was nervous!
It's hard letting go of a part of our life together that we will never have again. Gone are the lazy mornings. Now we are up early and out the door so as to not be tardy to school. The bell rings at 7:45 AM, which rang as we were walking in the door this morning :). Gone are the sounds of her singing early in the mornings and dancing and twirling all around my house. Someone else gets to catch a glimpse of her twirls during the day. Many things have ended, but she is now in a new world that will provide us a host of new and exciting memories.
Brooke is a pretty confident child, but this morning I could certainly sense her apprehensivenss as we got closer to her classroom door. After nervously finding a spot for her backpack and then putting her lunch box in the basket that will be carried to the lunchroom, she eased her way to her desk (a spot on the end of the table so as to keep her from elbowing the kid next to her since she is a lefty). As I encouraged her to sit down and told her that I was going to leave, she looked at me and said "Why can't you stay?" As my heart broke and I fought the tears back because I said I wouldn't cry in front of her, I told her how big of a girl she was and this was something she would do without me. Without me. Wowsers. We've done every big thing in her life to this point together, but this adventure will be done on her own with my constant prayer and encouragement from outside the school walls.
Needless to say, I am home recovering from my traumatic morning and counting the minutes until it is time to go pick her up from school. I know she will do great! She had great preschool years and is a smart little girl. Kyle kept telling me this morning what a good job I have done and that she has a good head on her shoulders for a 5 year old. I keep wondering though is it enough. Have I done enough? Did I impart on her all of the things that she needs for this stage in her life? Funny thing is I am pretty sure I will be asking myself that question at each stage of life for a long time.
Brooke -- Someday you will read this hopefully. I tell you a thousand times a day, but I love you more than you know. You were a shining light for me the day you were born when all I saw through the grief of losing my mom were shades of gray. As you start kindergarten today, I am praising God for your life! I hope this year is a year where we will see you grow and learn. You mean the world to me and your Daddy! We are so glad God allowed us to be your parents.
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| This little muffin dried Mommy's tears. |
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| Who's Brooke? Business as usual for the boys. |
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| Daddy's girl! |
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